A couple of months ago I
attended an event run by a friend. It was a bit “Meh”.
Nothing exactly wrong, but
all a bit vapid. No sense of direction. Lots of little things which were
clearly not thought about. Lots of things which could have been a lot better
for no more money, or substantially less.
We met for a restorative
coffee the next day. She was definitely in the “post show blues” mood and I was
trying to be supportive.
After a few coaching
moments when I asked her how many clients had been there, if she’d started any
good conversations and so on, I was asked for my honest feedback.
What a dangerous question.
So I proceeded carefully.
After all the usual
get-outs “how did you feel about it” I finally decided honesty was best.
“Do you think I know about
running events?” I asked.
Yes, of course.
“Do you think I could have
made the event more successful?”
Yes, of course. That’s what
“Did you think I would
charge you for my advice?”
No, we’re mates and I often
give you advice for free.
“So why didn’t you ask?”
Now as she was a friend,
and in a receptive mood, we were able to explore a little. There are lots of
areas of our lives where asking for help is easy to do and yet we don’t. For
any number of reasons. We want to prove we can do it ourselves. We think asking
for help makes us look weak, but after another round of coffees, to my surprise,
the reason my friend had such a blind spot was that she didn’t even think to
It’s a theme I’ve touched
on in other posts, but she was so busy booking the venue, arranging the
canapés, sending the invitations and so on that she simply didn’t lift her head
from the details and ask “why am I doing this?”
So do ask me, ask your
friends, ask someone who knows. The worst answer you’ll get is “You have
thought of everything.”
Any comments? Email firstname.lastname@example.org